Thoughts on chubby girls?

I’m always a bit taken aback by questions like this.

It makes me think you’re asking whether I’d like somebody in spite of being ‘chubby’, which probably means two things: 1) you think chubbiness is in some way a deficiency; and 2) you are – to some extent – defining yourself by your chubbiness.

Let’s break it down.

Firstly, I don’t like the term ‘chubby’. It belongs to a family of pejorative terms that ought to be disused. Forget reclamation, let’s not normalise terms that are too often used to hurt. Let’s not concede to the assholes who carelessly throw these kind of terms around. By doing so, we allow their abuse to creep into our culture through the language we use. Give them no excuse.

Ask yourself this: how do I define myself?

I want you to do something. Next time you weigh yourself, whatever the numbers say, look at the result and say out loud: “that’s not me”. Do this every time. When you feel somebody looking at you and you’re convinced it’s because of your size (which, by the way, we all do about our different physical obsessions), say the same thing mentally. “That’s not me.” Do it to reject that demon. Do it to break the mental chain that has you believing your size is your most significant identifier. Do it to embrace and empower your true self. Do it because it’s true. That’s not you.

Why am I banging on about this? Because ‘chubby’ is not a classification. At best it’s a minor description; an irrelevant observation. Your body is the shell in which the real you lives. The you that cares that your friends are OK. The you that worries whether you’re doing the right thing. The you that enjoys a little cry at a Pixar movie. The you that struggles every day but still holds hope that things might be alright. The you with so much potential to live for.

Do you think anyone cares how much your heart physically weighs? And yet that’s the most valuable organ you have. So let that become the way you self-identify. If you did that, questions like this sound silly. You’d look at them and think ‘wha?’ – because ‘you’ are not how heavy you are, and however heavy you actually are, doesn’t register on the scale of what’s truly important.

Being healthy is great. But being healthy within yourself is freedom.