So this sounds like a ‘way things are’ vs ‘way I think things should be’ scenario. The latter is all consuming and presents a false standard against which we can judge ourselves. The former is, always has been, and always will be, totally fine.
That’s easy to say in theory, but in practice it can be hard and painful. I understand that. Don’t think that a casual Tumblr answer means I don’t get how difficult it can be.
I lost my virginity when I was your age. For years prior, I felt weird and stupid for feeling so behind everyone else. For years later, I felt weird and stupid for feeling so behind everyone else. The reality is, we’re always going to be strange on some douchebag’s spectrum. The answer isn’t to shuffle along in time with their rhythm, it’s to hear our own beat and live according to what moves us. If that means we wait for a while before we have sex, then that’s how it is for us. We embrace our life and we own it. We try not to compare ourselves to ideas of how it could or should be.
Picture our lives as a poetic dance. Sometimes it’s awkward and geeky, but it’s ours. And we are the only ones who can move to it like we own it. Because we do own it. Everyone else are pretenders. So listen for music. Own it and dance. It’s not easy. Sometimes you need to pretend to be a dancer but do it enough and you’ll find your space. You’ll find your flow. And when you do, you’ll align yourself with the opportunities, sexual and otherwise, that happen upon people who have developed their own self-assured sense of security.
Maybe that means you’ll be sexing it up like a motherfucker in the months to come, or maybe you’ll be the most bad-ass virgin the people in your life have ever seen. The key is authenticity and self acceptance. You are worth that.