This time of the year is a bit like a twilight zone for many of you. The gap between loneliness and hopelessness. Christmas seemed to happen to everyone else, and there doesn’t appear much to look forward to next year, just a lot more of the same shit we say we enjoy but we know doesn’t really fulfil us. All the memes, all the festive sentiments posted as far as the eye can see, all the pictures of smiley faces, festive pranks and all the determination that next year will be the year it changes. You see it but can’t relate. It doesn’t feel real. You’re still numb, except perhaps for your pain.
I’m not going to pretend that anything I have to say can offer any change for you, but I do want you to feel less alone in this moment. Amidst the casual acceptance of those around you that your pretend smile means nothing’s wrong, we both know not everything’s right. The tissues in your trash tell the story. Or perhaps the scars on your arm.
It may seem twee, but who you are right now is valid. It might feel like you’re defined by all the things you’re not; that your self-identity is framed by what you perceive as your weakness, but there’s still a ‘you’ at the core. Nobody might see it, or understand it, but you know you’re there, hiding away in the dark.
Would you take my hand if I offered it to you? Would you be brave and not shut me out if I told you I think you’re precious? Or if you did, would you let me keep my hand there, waiting for you to hold when you’re ready? If you’d do it for me, perhaps you could do it for your most trusted person. You might just find they’ve been waiting for you for a while.
I think the world is full of ‘you’s . They’re all around. We’re each just hiding away, assuming we’re the lone inhabitant of a vast, isolated cave. It can be comforting to picture others, even those we’ll never get to know. You’re not truly alone.
So as another year approaches, perhaps looking a lot like the last, let’s not fill it with empty promises and cheap sentiment. Let’s just clutch each other’s hands and hold tight, because anything might happen if we can bring ourselves to believe in somebody.