The Bestest Taste Ever


There was this weird and busy time called crissmus.

It meant many new things, including not one but TWO trees in the house and lots of sparkly toys.

Anyway, I discovered something that makes me happy and sad at the same time. My tall monkey possesses a special food called ‘tyunahforhyumans’.

He brought it out for me on crissmus morning and it’s the absolute best thing I have ever tasted. I have to wonder, why has he been feeding me this thing called kittenmush when tyunahforhumans exists in the world.

He shrugged at me and said that was it. That’s all he had.

Silly me. I believed him.

Today, I caught him with more tyunahforhyumans. I could smell it.

I sat in the middle of the kitchen and gave him the biggest what for I could muster. “How DARE you?”, I squeaked. “Are you going to share then?”

He pretended like he didn’t understand catnese. He said, “Aww, Dooey Doo Drop, this is chilli tyunahforhyumans.”

He told me I wouldn’t like it and I said I’d be the judge of that.

He gave me a few flakes of some hideous thing on the end of his finger to sniff that burnt my nostrils.

Naturally I turned my nose up at it and asked again, a little louder but still politely, for the tyunaforhyumans.

He laughed. Can you believe it?


Back to kittenmush for me then, I s’pose.

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