Trans Pride

I want to take a moment to publicly stand by my Trans followers.

Please remember that no Presidential order, no piece of legislation, company policy or administrative directive will ever define your worth or have anything to say about your value. It’s not about them.

People can sometimes have a curious way of catching up. When we look at when it became legal for women to vote, or for homosexuality to stop becoming illegal, we’re shocked at how long it took us to get it. But we don’t learn. We stick rooted in ideology and outdated principles that are really just empty traditions and cultural norms.

In time, we’ll come to respect and to include. In the meantime, some groups can often be stuck. Stuck between a culture that gives you the freedom to identify as you wish but won’t see you when you do, at which point you’re treated like a threat. I’m so sorry that happens.

It’s not about bathrooms and it’s not about toleration; it’s about respect and it’s about inclusion. It’s about understanding. It’s about humanity and togetherness.

Please, stand tall and proud and know that you’re loved and accepted. There are many of us who are with you; who are for you. We know it shouldn’t be this serious, and I look forward to dancing, laughing and being with you. But while there is a struggle, we don’t trivialize it. We see it and we stand with you, hand in hand, shedding tear by tear with you as elements of society struggle with acceptance.

Let’s fight the good fight and celebrate as we do it. We won’t allow our terms to be defined. We will champion diversity, love and peace. We will keep our gaze fixed on our bright future and hasten the day.

Is it bad I almost started crying during ‘Connection’?

No, it’s not bad at all.

One of the things I’m trying to do with these audios is give a sense of intimacy with the listener.

I don’t want you just to cum, I want you to feel part of something. Sometimes that’s a fantasy or scenario I create for you to lose yourself in, and other times I’m engaging with a different part of your mind – the part that longs for resonance and synchronicity with something more substantial.

This is most obvious in the romantic audios like Connection, where it’s about love and togetherness as much as it is about sex.

My hope is that this kind of audio will uplift you and help make you feel as awesome as you deserve to. <3

I have a question: You are driving in the rain…

Full question: “You are driving in the rain. You come across a bus stop with three people waiting. You find the people are your best friend who saved your life once, your soul mate, and an elderly woman who is having a heart attack. You can only carry one other person in your car, and once you leave you won’t see your soul mate again. What do you do?”

Wow, what a question. Here is my answer:

I stop the car, and help the elderly woman inside so I can drive her to the hospital. As the other two help me, my soul mate and I catch each other’s eye. She knows what this means. My best friend is shaken by what’s happening, so I give him money for a taxi and tell him to meet me at the hospital as soon as he can – that I’ll always be here for him, like he was for me and like I must be now for this woman.

Time is against us, but as I turn to face my soul mate, it feels like it’s stopped. We can barely feel the rain. In a split second, the sorrow is overwhelming but so is the connection we feel, as infinite as the universe. Two souls meet like this outside of time, where they always were and will always be together, if not in proximity than in spirit. There are no words, just smiles in spite of the tears; just gratitude in spite of the heartbreak; just a knowledge that a soul mate never truly leaves your heart.

There’s no time to indulge in this, and within a blink, I’m driving to the hospital, one hand on the wheel, the other in the elderly woman’s, gripping mine tightly. She knows as well, as if her touch shares a moment she once had to let go of somebody special herself. I’m comforted by her, and her revelation that where soul mates have to leave, other special people can arrive, and that age can bring wisdom to heal and grow amidst it all.

Thoughts on chubby girls?

I’m always a bit taken aback by questions like this.

It makes me think you’re asking whether I’d like somebody in spite of being ‘chubby’, which probably means two things: 1) you think chubbiness is in some way a deficiency; and 2) you are – to some extent – defining yourself by your chubbiness.

Let’s break it down.

Firstly, I don’t like the term ‘chubby’. It belongs to a family of pejorative terms that ought to be disused. Forget reclamation, let’s not normalise terms that are too often used to hurt. Let’s not concede to the assholes who carelessly throw these kind of terms around. By doing so, we allow their abuse to creep into our culture through the language we use. Give them no excuse.

Ask yourself this: how do I define myself?

I want you to do something. Next time you weigh yourself, whatever the numbers say, look at the result and say out loud: “that’s not me”. Do this every time. When you feel somebody looking at you and you’re convinced it’s because of your size (which, by the way, we all do about our different physical obsessions), say the same thing mentally. “That’s not me.” Do it to reject that demon. Do it to break the mental chain that has you believing your size is your most significant identifier. Do it to embrace and empower your true self. Do it because it’s true. That’s not you.

Why am I banging on about this? Because ‘chubby’ is not a classification. At best it’s a minor description; an irrelevant observation. Your body is the shell in which the real you lives. The you that cares that your friends are OK. The you that worries whether you’re doing the right thing. The you that enjoys a little cry at a Pixar movie. The you that struggles every day but still holds hope that things might be alright. The you with so much potential to live for.

Do you think anyone cares how much your heart physically weighs? And yet that’s the most valuable organ you have. So let that become the way you self-identify. If you did that, questions like this sound silly. You’d look at them and think ‘wha?’ – because ‘you’ are not how heavy you are, and however heavy you actually are, doesn’t register on the scale of what’s truly important.

Being healthy is great. But being healthy within yourself is freedom.