How am I able to be open in not only trusting men but also people?

Full question: “In my last relationship I thought my fiancé was “the one.” We had been together for 4 years and 6 months before we were supposed to get married I had found out he had been cheating on me for a year. I am trying to get out into dating but I am too afraid to trust men again. How am I able to move on and be open in not only trusting men but also people?


Firstly, I’m genuinely sorry you went through such an experience.

Sadly, there are people in all groups who aren’t developed enough to treat others with respect. No single experience with one person reflects on others in that group, and I’m glad you’ve not let him stop you from believing that others can be trusted, although I appreciate how hard that is now.

‘Moving on’ isn’t something you decide to do, it’s a gradual process that takes place over time, and one day you’ll realise you’re in a different place. Try to place the anxiety of ‘putting this behind you’ to one side, and surround yourself with positive people – friends who are supportive, encouraging, edifying and uplifting.

Let them hold your hand for a while. That’s not weakness, that’s friendship.

There’s no easy way around this – trust means being open and letting part of yourself become vulnerable. My best advice would be to do that in stages, a little bit at a time, and be aware of how that’s handled by whoever it is. Remember, the most crucial belief you have is in yourself.

You’re a strong, beautiful person independent of anybody else, so if somebody mistreats you, fall back on that and you’ll be OK, even if it might hurt for a while.

Lots of love x