hope Archives - British Filth | Positive Erotic Audio

Staring into the Void

May 26, 2019December 28, 2017 by britishfilth

This time of the year is a bit like a twilight zone for many of you. The gap between loneliness and hopelessness. Christmas seemed to happen to everyone else, and there doesn’t appear much to look forward to next year, just a lot more of the same shit we say we enjoy but we know doesn’t really fulfil us. All the memes, all the festive sentiments posted as far as the eye can see, all the pictures of smiley faces, festive pranks and all the determination that next year will be the year it changes. You see it but can’t relate. It doesn’t feel real. You’re still numb, except perhaps for your pain.

I’m not going to pretend that anything I have to say can offer any change for you, but I do want you to feel less alone in this moment. Amidst the casual acceptance of those around you that your pretend smile means nothing’s wrong, we both know not everything’s right. The tissues in your trash tell the story. Or perhaps the scars on your arm.

It may seem twee, but who you are right now is valid. It might feel like you’re defined by all the things you’re not; that your self-identity is framed by what you perceive as your weakness, but there’s still a ‘you’ at the core. Nobody might see it, or understand it, but you know you’re there, hiding away in the dark.

Would you take my hand if I offered it to you? Would you be brave and not shut me out if I told you I think you’re precious? Or if you did, would you let me keep my hand there, waiting for you to hold when you’re ready? If you’d do it for me, perhaps you could do it for your most trusted person. You might just find they’ve been waiting for you for a while.

I think the world is full of ‘you’s . They’re all around. We’re each just hiding away, assuming we’re the lone inhabitant of a vast, isolated cave. It can be comforting to picture others, even those we’ll never get to know. You’re not truly alone.

So as another year approaches, perhaps looking a lot like the last, let’s not fill it with empty promises and cheap sentiment. Let’s just clutch each other’s hands and hold tight, because anything might happen if we can bring ourselves to believe in somebody.

Moving Forward

January 1, 2018November 10, 2016 by britishfilth

All of us are waking up today to a changed world. For some, the world has changed for the better; government now feels within reach, priorities that felt neglected are now in play, and somebody relatable has been awarded power, rather than a member of the privileged elite. For others, our potential to grow has been lost to bigotry, intolerance and aggression.

This blog isn’t political, but I do care that you’re OK. I care that you feel safe and free to be, and to express yourself without fear of judgement or intimidation.

I know that many of you will feel bewildered and disappointed with the result of the US election. More will feel confused about how somebody who represents something so different from what feels right will soon become the most powerful person in the world.

So let’s take a few seconds to catch our breath. Our world is still turning, the sun is still rising, and we are still here. For as long as we are, so is hope.

Hope doesn’t come attached to a political candidate and if our chosen one loses, it doesn’t die. Hope is personal. It’s not realised when we elect somebody to a bigger home and a higher pay check, but when we personally and directly cause it to come alive. Hope exists when we introduce ourselves to the neighbour who we’ve never spoken to; when we give to the homeless and the less fortunate; when we smile as we pass people on the street and give them cause to believe the world might just be on their side.

We can create the change we want to see. Hope is like sunlight, straining to burst into a darkened room. We’re not responsible for its creation, but we can create the opportunity for it to reveal itself, and that happens at an individual level. We all have the opportunity to either suffer disappointment or to counter it.

If you feel disappointment today, I’d like you to give somebody a compliment. Just as a start. Do it sincerely and ignore that sense of awkwardness that stops you. Think of somebody you love, and what you love about them, and share it. They may smile straight away or they may not, but you’ll have sown something only good can come from. You’ll feel pretty good too, I promise.

Let’s keep moving forward, hand in hand, one moment at a time.

What type of person are you looking for in a relationship?

January 1, 2018August 7, 2015 by britishfilth

In my ideal relationship, there’d be a synergy; a coming together of energies that would combine in the most perfectly wonderful and compatible way. That’s to say, I’m not looking for somebody in order to tick a box, or for personal gain. I’m hoping to give as much as get, knowing that my partner will be of like mind, and that together we match through an implicit understanding, and a spilling over of self-interest. Me becomes we, and our affection manifests in a merger of identity, not via co-dependency, but through a deep and profound sense of love, and a spirit of giving, caring and protection.

Would you like specifics?

My love and I would leave each other treats, to be found through riddles in post-it notes placed randomly around our home. We’d wake to find the other’s fingers softly running through the other’s hair, waking them with a smile that says ‘I love you more today than I ever have’. When one of us needs space that’s totally cool – the other understands and respects our time alone, but they rarely leave our thoughts.

We’ll marathon through Orange Is The New Black, stopping only to order more pizza. We’ll pour over maps of the world and plan adventures or simply dream together of a life out of reach. We communicate through a squeeze of a hand or a kiss on the forehead, and we both know exactly what that means.

We’ll dance together, to our favourite music, turned up to maximum. We’ll drink, knowing no matter how much we embarrass ourselves, we’re loved. We’ll fuck for hours, and often, giving and receiving in ways in which we lose ourselves to orgasm after orgasm, whether it’s sweet and tender or rough and primal.

When life deals us blows, we’ll be there for each other unconditionally. When life deals us triumphs, we’ll revel in each other’s success. We’ll talk about cats, and babies; about raising a family together, and inside we’ll both hope for our unborn that they have a parent as amazing as this.

There’s no point at which things get so difficult we’re no longer prepared to sacrifice for each other; this is it for us – pure commitment. And if the time should come that our paths go in different directions, we’ll kiss through our tears and always be thankful for what we’ve meant to each other.

I’m a single man. I haven’t yet found my love, and I’ve not spent a great deal of time trying. But as I write these words, there’s a certain ache in my heart, and my bed looks empty. Who knows what the future might bring, for us all.