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Do you find black women attractive?

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Answering this is problematic.

To use another person’s skin colour as the subject of their attractiveness is to elevate it disproportionately. It’s like asking if I’m attracted to a particular accent or a dominant arm.

The object of my desire is a person who has discovered the bravery of forging their own self against a culture that forces self upon us. It’s the person who sees failure and rejects it in the context of their potential. It’s the person who owns hope while nursing a broken heart. It’s the person who sees a world full of islands but presses on in the belief of a better collective future.

And it’s a person who presses the snooze button eight times before getting up. Who reads up on how to get into better shape but orders a Dominos and puts fitness off until tomorrow, not letting it define them. A person who enjoys pillow fights and tickle contests. Who hugs me like the world’s about to end, and who lets me tickle their back and play with their hair without being cynical. The person whom I can look in the eye and feel a powerful, mutual love without saying a word.

Am I attracted to ‘black women’?

I’m attracted to humanity and all it’s glory.

God loves you :-)

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*bites tongue* … **presses down really hard** … ***winces***… ah, fuck it.

Really? That’s interesting, because I have few questions and given I reserve my respect for theories based on the weight of evidence, I’ll direct them towards you, because you’re real.

So, which God is it?

Let me assume, and correct me if I’m wrong, that I can guess this God’s characteristics; he’s omnipotent (all powerful), right? Which means it’s within his grasp not only to decide not to send us all to the ‘hell’ he created, but also to set up a scenario where it’s possible he didn’t have to send his own son (who is also him?) on a suicide mission, for the benefit of a minority of people.

He’s also omnipresent (present everywhere), right? Which means he’s aware of everything that’s happening. He is intimately familiar with the unimaginable suffering of those he knowingly created into situations of inescapable torture and cruelty, and sits there doing nothing other than expecting people to believe in him, to no end.

Oh, and he’s omniscient (all knowing), correct? Which means when he created absolutely everything in 144 hours, he knew exactly what was going to happen. Maybe that’s why he regretted it all when he murdered everyone except for Noah and his family, but that doesn’t excuse him because he knew about war, disease and everything else, and he chose to do it all anyway.

Yet he’s omni-benevolent (all loving), right? So does that mean we must afford him some unique moral platform that we both don’t understand and goes against every fibre of our inner sense of what it means to be good, to excuse him of incalculable cruelty?

I’m not even out of first gear; don’t get me started on biblical textual criticism.

I don’t want to be a downer, and fully expect a drop in follower numbers given this post (hey, you’d be more consistent if you just forgave me), but the time has come for our society to draw a close to this befuddled nonsense. Believe in yourself! You are innately beautiful and capable of producing true goodness in the world. You need no third-party narrative; you are enough, and you are amazing.

Is it a turn off to be a 24 year old virgin?

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So this sounds like a ‘way things are’ vs ‘way I think things should be’ scenario. The latter is all consuming and presents a false standard against which we can judge ourselves. The former is, always has been, and always will be, totally fine.

That’s easy to say in theory, but in practice it can be hard and painful. I understand that. Don’t think that a casual Tumblr answer means I don’t get how difficult it can be.

I lost my virginity when I was your age. For years prior, I felt weird and stupid for feeling so behind everyone else. For years later, I felt weird and stupid for feeling so behind everyone else. The reality is, we’re always going to be strange on some douchebag’s spectrum. The answer isn’t to shuffle along in time with their rhythm, it’s to hear our own beat and live according to what moves us. If that means we wait for a while before we have sex, then that’s how it is for us. We embrace our life and we own it. We try not to compare ourselves to ideas of how it could or should be.

Picture our lives as a poetic dance. Sometimes it’s awkward and geeky, but it’s ours. And we are the only ones who can move to it like we own it. Because we do own it. Everyone else are pretenders. So listen for music. Own it and dance. It’s not easy. Sometimes you need to pretend to be a dancer but do it enough and you’ll find your space. You’ll find your flow. And when you do, you’ll align yourself with the opportunities, sexual and otherwise, that happen upon people who have developed their own self-assured sense of security.

Maybe that means you’ll be sexing it up like a motherfucker in the months to come, or maybe you’ll be the most bad-ass virgin the people in your life have ever seen. The key is authenticity and self acceptance. You are worth that.

Do you think porn is wrong and immoral?

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We need to define some terms.

Let’s extend the definition of ‘porn’ beyond the big studios and websites so it includes ‘tube’ type sites, cam model sites and – yes – Tumblr blogs. Basically, anything that not only creates but also extends the reach of sexually explicit material. Let’s keep the discussion about heterosexual pornography, just for the sake of this answer. Let’s agree – for the sake of argument – that what’s ‘wrong’ is what’s harmful. And let’s decide that what’s ‘moral’ is the minimisation of unnecessary harm.

When we think about the morality of pornography, we could go one of two ways: the concept, or the reality. I have no issue with the concept of pornography, which should come as no surprise from a blog which is unashamedly pornographic. Consenting adults utilising sexuality as part of a social or commercial enterprise – whether creator or consumer – is very much a matter for the conscience of either party. I don’t see any reason to pretend there are absolute standards of consensual sexual behaviour or some arbitrary measure of purity against which we should measure ourselves.

Even if there is, impurity is fun!

Then there’s pornography as a reality. That’s where it becomes more difficult for me.  We need to own a conscious awareness when we indulge in pornographic imagery. It’s very easy to take unconscious cues about the physicality and sexuality of what we watch, view or listen to. It’s so easy to find ourselves developing subconscious standards in the facial appearance, skin colour, personality or body shape of women, whether that’s women we desire to be with or women we compare ourselves against. For many men, it’s so easy to let porn start to dictate our measure of sexual prowess against how long we last, how large we are, or the reaction of our partner.

So pornography has the potential for huge harm, but does that make it inherently wrong? It certainly doesn’t owe anything to the sensibilities of its consumer. As adults, we own the responsibility to call judgements on what we’re happy to expose ourselves to, and that responsibility is ours alone. The same is true of workers within the industry, which will exploit its performers without pausing for breath. I don’t think any consenting adult could reasonably blame the industry for their decision to use it for work.

Ultimately, we each need to make the call. Pornography is so prevalent that if we don’t watch it or re-blog it, it’s easy to feel like we’re missing out on something everyone else is enjoying, or even that we’re weird for not enjoying it. If you decide it’s not really your thing, please feel fine with that decision. You create the rules, and that includes what’s normal in your universe. You are not as odd as you imagine. If it’s something that you do enjoy, then enjoy, with the discernment and wisdom that stimulation doesn’t equate to benchmarks.

Do you ever get bored with sex?

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I get bored of everything, from time to time. I think we all do. We don’t have the concentration span to be infinitely engaged with one thing, and no thing is here to infinitely engage us. We’re just here. And so is that. Sometimes those paths cross, and sometimes they keep crossing. Sometimes they never cross.

The point is, no path is the ‘right’ one. It’s just a path. Most of us don’t have much control over which path, or options of paths, we’ll travel. But some of us look at paths that most people seem to be travelling and ask ourselves why we’re not on theirs instead. Then we get bored of our own. We undermine the validity of the path we’re on. The path which belongs to us alone. The most beautiful path of all.

If we ever find ourselves bored, it’s often because our gaze has been distracted towards the idea that there’s a different path we should be on. Perhaps that’s the path in which we’re more sexually active or adventurous. But happiness isn’t about bulldozing our way into some other direction; it’s about embracing the path we’re on. When we do that, our own path begins to fulfil us fundamentally.

The stars only shine when our eyes become accustomed to the night sky.

Question: You have to pick one door…

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Full question: “Say I’m standing in front of you with 2 keys to 2 separate doors. You HAVE to pick one. Door 1, will leave you in the life you have now, just as it is, with the exception of 1 million pounds added to your bank account. Door 2 merges in your kitchen, where your wife and 2 kids (a boy and a baby girl if that helps) are waiting for you. Other than that, your life is pretty normal: same job, same friends, etc. But you can’t record your audios ever again. Which door do you pick?”

 

So the first door is exactly the same life but with a million pounds, and the second gives me a family, but no audios?

It’s a no-brainer. I choose door two.

I love making these audios, I really do. And a lot of money would be amazing, but there’s no price I could ever put on a loving partner or to have children of my own. To love, and to love back; to look into my child’s eyes and know they’re looking up at their daddy…  you could offer me ten million to choose the first door and I’d not hesitate to run to my children, to pick them up and hold them, to kiss their forehead and tell them I love them, then to glance up with tearful eyes at the love of my life and be eternally grateful for their place in my heart.

There’s no amount of money that would ever cause me to reject that.

To experience that wonder is something I desire with my whole soul. I hope one day to meet the somebody out there who yearns for the same, and realise our dreams together, because to kiss the lips of my soul mate, and to hold our baby close to my beating heart, would make me the richest man in the whole world.

What exactly is your sexual preference?

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I’m more interested in the question than the answer. What is this desire to categorize others all about? Why the need to box people?

One of the most beautiful things about our shared humanity is our diversity. Our desires and experiences are broad and varied, and I find that wonderful. Just as we differ in shape and size, so we differ in sexuality and gender identification, and some of us even find variations on that within one lifetime!

My precise sexuality isn’t important. I’m a lover of all that’s beautiful, and given I believe beauty is an inherent and core part of everybody, that means I generally love everyone I meet, even if that beauty is hidden beneath prejudice and hurtful experiences

This blog stands proudly and unashamedly in allegiance and solidarity with people of all sexualities and gender types. I stand hand in hand with my lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender followers just as I do my straight followers.

Together, we make all the colours of the rainbow.

Love is the answer.

Are you religious?

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I used to be a fundamentalist Christian, and I’m not any more. I’ll explain why.

As I grew older, I discovered new things: rainbows exist because light is refracted; reindeer cannot run at the speed of light, and closing your eyes doesn’t make you invisible to adults. One of the ways I could track the fact I’d grown up was to look at things I believed when I was younger and compare them with what I discovered when I was older. The process of discovery, about myself and about our world, was an amazing process and is throughout our lives.

I couldn’t reconcile that with a belief underpinned by a selection of ancient texts written so long ago, before most of our major discoveries were made, dictating an unchanging, dogmatic and often demonstrably wrong and immoral truth. It was a juxtaposition that seemed to violate the very core of what it is to be human: to grow, to learn, to discover, to understand. I approached the bible as a historical document, and at that point I realised I needed to be wilfully ignorant to accept it. I wasn’t prepared to be so.

Also, I find our existence, our world and the universe we’re part of, absolutely beautiful. I’m awed and humbled by how tiny and insignificant we are, yet how we’re alive and able to comprehend what we’re existing within.

That’s amazing to me, but it doesn’t require total explanation.

There is beauty in mystery, and the questions are often more astounding then I think any answer might be. We all seek to understand and it’s comforting to have answers that help us make sense of it, but that’s not truth. Wisdom is acceptance of our ignorance. We can’t know some of our deepest longings, but that’s OK. The wonder isn’t contained in 66 old manuscripts that haven’t existed for centuries, it’s alive when you breathe in the ocean air; when you hold somebody close and two souls meet; when you become lost in a child’s laugh.

Yes, we all want to Know. But it’s ok to accept we don’t, because the beauty of life isn’t what’s at the end of our journey, it’s on the road we travel, and what we make of that.

We’re all yearning towards the shining lure of the bright impossible, but around us exists majesty made reality through the wonder of existence. I prefer to experience and enjoy that for what it is.

Having been on both sides of the religious fence, I’d recommend it to anybody.

What type of person are you looking for in a relationship?

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In my ideal relationship, there’d be a synergy; a coming together of energies that would combine in the most perfectly wonderful and compatible way. That’s to say, I’m not looking for somebody in order to tick a box, or for personal gain. I’m hoping to give as much as get, knowing that my partner will be of like mind, and that together we match through an implicit understanding, and a spilling over of self-interest. Me becomes we, and our affection manifests in a merger of identity, not via co-dependency, but through a deep and profound sense of love, and a spirit of giving, caring and protection.

Would you like specifics?

My love and I would leave each other treats, to be found through riddles in post-it notes placed randomly around our home. We’d wake to find the other’s fingers softly running through the other’s hair, waking them with a smile that says ‘I love you more today than I ever have’. When one of us needs space that’s totally cool – the other understands and respects our time alone, but they rarely leave our thoughts.

We’ll marathon through Orange Is The New Black, stopping only to order more pizza. We’ll pour over maps of the world and plan adventures or simply dream together of a life out of reach. We communicate through a squeeze of a hand or a kiss on the forehead, and we both know exactly what that means.

We’ll dance together, to our favourite music, turned up to maximum. We’ll drink, knowing no matter how much we embarrass ourselves, we’re loved. We’ll fuck for hours, and often, giving and receiving in ways in which we lose ourselves to orgasm after orgasm, whether it’s sweet and tender or rough and primal.

When life deals us blows, we’ll be there for each other unconditionally. When life deals us triumphs, we’ll revel in each other’s success. We’ll talk about cats, and babies; about raising a family together, and inside we’ll both hope for our unborn that they have a parent as amazing as this.

There’s no point at which things get so difficult we’re no longer prepared to sacrifice for each other; this is it for us – pure commitment. And if the time should come that our paths go in different directions, we’ll kiss through our tears and always be thankful for what we’ve meant to each other.

I’m a single man. I haven’t yet found my love, and I’ve not spent a great deal of time trying. But as I write these words, there’s a certain ache in my heart, and my bed looks empty. Who knows what the future might bring, for us all.

Do you talk dirty non-stop when you’re with your partner?

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No. There are a few reasons for that.

Firstly, this is a fantasy – it’s an invitation to indulge in some audio filth which wouldn’t work if I didn’t say anything! Dirty talk is necessary but I try and make it inclusive and empowering as well. Secondly, it’s a performance. It’s not real life; it’s a creative endeavour aimed to stimulate and inspire, but it’s certainly an attempt at artistic expression as much as everything else. Thirdly, I’m British! We’re notoriously prudish. Doing this helps me to break out of my mould, as I think we all should when the time is right. It allows me to re-define myself and let loose in an anonymous, albeit public way.

There’s more to it than that, though. In real life, ideal relationships are mutual.

My ideal partner – still out there, somewhere – wouldn’t want to hear me babbling on during sex, but would just appreciate the expression and liberty of being somebody open to throwing in a few dirty remarks and filthy questions from time to time.

In turn, I’d love to hear my partner tell me what they like, and enjoy engaging with me on that level, but most of all, there would be an unsaid connection; a joining of spirits and a synchronising of souls that would transcend words and bring about the most mind-blowing orgasm of all. Or something.

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